Vanderpump Rules: What if that was the series finale and not the season finale?

Vanderpump Rules seems to have the content viewers want, but it remains on the cutting room floor in favor of more scenes with Jax Taylor sweating.

Throughout the season on Twitter and in the press for Vanderpump Rules season eight, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright were insistent that Tom Sandoval was an awful person and an awful friend.  Besides discussing every facet of their corn-fed-castle-wedding, it seemed like Tom really might have crossed the line along the way.  Now that we’ve suffered through the whole season, it seems that the “really awful” thing that Tom did was have a pool party on the same day as Jax and Brittany.

That says a lot about where this show has gone.  It used to be about the real drama between friends, sleeping with one another, and getting drunk to scream about it.  Stripping off your milky-white chunky sweater in a strip mall in Vegas to try and fight some random dude over your ex-girlfriend.  It was about your best friend sleeping with your boyfriend and lying about it.  Now, it’s about Jax being mad about a pool party and someone not eating pasta.

Sure, Tom and Ariana Madix might not be the most entertaining people on television, but I have a feeling what we see on TV is kind of what you get in real life.  Katie Maloney couldn’t even muster up the strength to do anything other than be bored during her filming, which is probably authentic too.  Jax has been raging out on twitter and in real life with his eyes popping out of his head and a crazed look on his face – all because he hates his once best friend.

While talking to Lisa Vanderpump, Jax said that was why “his show” was so successful.  Lisa said, “Listen, stop making yourself feel more special than you actually are.”  She went on to say that things often change, we all lose people, fall in love, make mistakes – and that Jax needs to realize how lucky he is in the grand scheme of things.  It is also entirely possible that Jax is mad about the success of TomTom since he literally has no hobbies or anything interesting to keep him occupied.  He married Brittany and is now stuck living the married life with her, while Tom and Ariana get to do whatever they want in life.  Jax has a lawnmower though.

Dayna Kathan fighting over some of the lamest dudes to ever grace our television just isn’t interesting.  Max Boyens and Brett Caprioni are wholly uninteresting and racist to boot.  The other new girls, Danica Down and Charli Burnett, were somehow looked over to watch Dayna fawn after these two dingbats for no reason.  Charli actually said she filmed a whole scene about her aversion to pasta and the abuse she suffered to led her to her strange eating habits, but of course, that was cut so we could watch Stassi Schroeder go to the doctor.

All of that aside, the end of the episode really did seem final.  Jax won’t take Lisa’s advice and won’t realize how lucky he is.  Things don’t look great for Kristen Doute and the group.

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I’d imagine Stassi and Beau Clark are going to get a spin-off show of their own at some point.  TomTom will probably get a spinoff too.  And if Vanderpump Rules never came back, we wouldn’t be missing anything interesting.  I’ll pour one out for my once-favorite show, just in case.

Vanderpump Rules is on Bravo every Tuesday at 9 PM.

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