Southern Charm: “Barking Up the Wrong Treehouse” recap

The Southern Charm cast is going on a treehouse adventure on this episode, while the guys sit around and talk about instagram DMs.

The episode begins with Austen Kroll being sad that his girlfriend is sliding into other guys DM’s on instagram.  Like a true friend, Craig Conover brings him a few burritos and offers some sage advice.  “You should just watch Frozen. That’s what I do when I’m sad.”

Chelsea come with the truth on this episode:

"“You get what you give.  If you want a good woman and someone who doesn’t cheat on you, then be a good man and don’t cheat on the person you’re with”"

Shep Rose thinks that’s just ridiculous, and says, “that was four months ago!” As if having a threesome four months ago is somehow better than doing it today.

Cameran and baby P have a hard time getting a snack and getting some peace.  I don’t know who needs the snack and who needs the peace.

Where in the world is Kathryn Dennis?

Kathryn Dennis has gone MIA a few days before the group trip and no one knows what to wear.  Her voicemail is full and she’s not answering phone calls or texts.

She has a history of doing this and then showing up like nothing ever happened.  Do better, Kathryn!  Everyone is rooting for you.

The next day, all of the girls head to Kathryn’s to leave for Bolt Farm Treehouse.  But not before Kathryn fills out the paperwork for her $126,000 2011 Rolls Royce Ghost.

I don’t care how much Bravo wants me to like Eliza and her terrible purple extensions, she’s not getting my vote.  Or my sympathy. Or my recaps.

Bolt Farm Treehouse Adventures

They have a few different tree houses on the property and they all look amazing.  According to their website, the tree houses start at $395 a night.

Cameran calls the rosé, “rose.”  It is clear how happy the poor woman is to just get out of the house.

While the ladies (sans Kathryn) are sampling some wines, Whitney texts Kathryn and says “where you at?”  I can’t handle it.

Someone asks if Whitney took off all of his clothing when they hooked up and Kathryn says “he left his glasses on.”  I don’t know why this is so funny, but it really is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

The girls try to talk to Kathryn about the decisions she’s been making lately and she is not having it.  They are trying to be good friends, but Kathryn is in a place where she cannot accept criticism at this moment.

Onward and upward, I suppose.

Southern Charm will be back next Wednesday at 8 PM ET on Bravo.