Real Housewives of Orange County: It’s Shannon’s birthday and she’ll kiss you if she wants to

The Real Housewives of Orange County ladies are ready to party like its 1979 (or something like that) on the train to San Diego.  Choo choo!

The Real Housewives of Orange County are ready to whoop it up for Shannon Storms Beador’s birthday!  In a strange turn of events, the group boards a train to San Diego wearing many conductors hats for a “hot mess express” party.  Why is RHOC suddenly obsessed with trains?

FUN SHANNON GOES TO DEL MAR

Tamra brings lots of phallic toys and snacks for the train, and even Meghan King Edmonds shows up for the train party.  Fun Shannon has arrived and is looking for someone to kiss on her birthday.   She even brought a whistle just in case she finds someone.  When they get to Poseidon in Del Mar, Vicki Gunvalson and Kelly Dodd even sit next to each other at dinner.  What progress.

A bathroom argument

Emily Simpson and Gina Kirschenheiter get into a huge fight about the double date that didn’t happen.  Gina thinks Emily set her up to fail on the date, and Emily thinks Gina has abandoned her.  Meanwhile, they are arguing in the bathroom during dinner.

Gina really has misguided anger for some reason because Shane Simpson’s cousin had a girlfriend when Emily set Gina up.  Then he pretended he broke a toe to get out of the date, and Gina is upset.  Meanwhile, Gina told us last week that she had been back in contact with her ex, Matt Kirschenheiter – so is that why she’s really mad?

Once they get to their next stop, Tamra takes it upon herself to screech through the bar that Shannon is looking to get laid.  Shannon doesn’t like that because it makes her look desperate.  Oh, Shannon.  The people in the background of this scene look positively mortified.  To be fair, I’m pretty mortified too.

While the rest of the table makes out, Vicki tries to figure out why all of the girls are kissing.  “Isn’t that cheating?  I know they aren’t lesbians so why is this happening?”  Why is Tamra on the floor of the restaurant?  Who keeps blowing that whistle?  Vicki, we don’t have any answers for you.

The Real Housewives of Orange County is on Bravo at 9 PM every Tuesday.