RHONY: “Jesus, the Countess, and Joseph” Go to a S’Mores and Whores Party

Last night was the RHONY finale, as well as Christmas time in the city.  My two favorite things! A cabaret, s’mores, whores, and a group of crazy housewives.

I totally forgot about Bethenny Frankel and her fish allergy situation.  Bethenny goes into anaphylactic shock from bonito flakes in miso soup. We need Bethenny on RHONY, so she’s going to have to avoid miso soup from here on out.

The ladies all head to Luann de Lesseps’ Christmas Cabaret to visit with her ahead of the show.  Luann doesn’t appreciate this as she has to get ready for the show.  Such a diva!  She wants to know why the other ladies aren’t there, and as usual, doesn’t appreciate the people that did come.

Dorinda was explaining why Bethenny wasn’t coming (the fish) and it went something like this:

Dorinda: “She was 5 minutes from death!”

Luann: laughs “So… she’s not going out tonight?”

Luann says that because she was one of seven children, she loves the attention she gets on stage.  You don’t say?

Barbara Kavovit is the only RHONY housewife that stayed for the show.  The rest of the ladies went to Ramona’s surprise party that isn’t actually a surprise. Luann doesn’t appreciate it anyway.

S’mores & whores

Tinsley Mortimer gets heat from Ramona for dating Scott still.  I don’t know why the other women care about Tinsley and Scott, other than the fact that Tinsley whines about it a lot.  I have a feeling Dorinda would not appreciate the same treatment if Tinsley was grilling Dorinda about her relationship with John.

Later at the s’mores and whores party, there is a mobile oyster station and all the ladies take turns slurping up oysters.  I’m offended by this.

Anyway, the party gets understandably sloppy and it is perfect.

A lovely young man delivers Sonja Morgan a birthday cake.  The lovely young man is actually a Christmas stripper.

Stripper Santa picks up Bethenny and flips her upside down in a chair.  I’m not sure why this was necessary, it really gave me some anxiety.

Dorinda says the fish room is flooded and needs a re-vamp.  This is simultaneously terrible and great news.  Knowing Dorinda, she’s going to re-do the fish room with a vengeance.  I’m still willing to stay in the fish room Dorinda, just so you know.

This season was definitely too short for how great this show is, but we still have the reunion left.

Check out our season 11 reunion sneak peek here!

Part I of The Real Housewives of New York reunion airs on Thursday, July 11 at 9 PM ET on Bravo.