Real Housewives of New York City: Luann’s number one fan is Luann

The Real Housewives of New York are still in Miami, 75% blackout drunk, 25% truffle fries.  100% full from the Countess Luann buffet.

This is no longer The Real Housewives of New York, this is Luann Land, where everything is about Luann de Lesseps, and if it’s not, it’s about to be!

Luann has been insufferable lately. If she’s not talking about herself or the cabaret, she doesn’t want to hear it.  Every conversation topic and group outing has to revolve around Luann in some way, or she’s not happy.

Luann drags Sonja Morgan to a meeting because she says that Sonja “needs it.”

It’s interesting Lu keeps talking about going to meetings on camera, but due to her parole violation, we know she didn’t go to many at all.

As of May 8th, according to People, Luann had only completed five meetings total.  Where does Luann keep going when she says she’s going to a “meeting?”

South Beach, bringin’ the heat

Tinsley Mortimer and Ramona Singer are both interested in the same man.  It’s going to be a fight to the date.  Not death, just date.

Tinsley tells Ramona to back off of Brett, and Ramona gets upset about it.  Tinsley goes on the date anyway.

When Sonja and Luann get back from the meeting, they head to the pool at the SLS South Beach where the rest of The Real Housewives of New York are waiting.

Luann is being incredibly selfish.  Sonja is almost hysterical because the meeting was emotional for her, and Luann keeps asking if anyone wants to go for a swim.

Bethenny says “She’s devoid of humanity,” and she’s not wrong.

The ladies decide to take the truffle fries home to make Sonja more comfortable.  Luann goes for a swim, and to visit a poster of herself posted on a hotel.  She has some poor girl take photos of herself in front of it.

A tropical meltdown

Luann honestly seems shocked at all of the animosity coming from the other girls.  I’m not sure how she hasn’t figured it out, but she has not figured it out.

As soon as the lobster pop tarts are delivered to the table in an actual toaster, it’s all downhill from there.

Barbara Kavovit says she stopped her life for Luann, and that Luann has done nothing to have her back in return.

After that, Luann mocks Tinsley’s speech and says she is slurring her words, which sends Bethenny in a tailspin.

Bethenny goes off.

“When was the last time you asked me about Dennis? Or how I’m feeling after losing Dennis?”

“I did your intervention while my guy died of a drug overdose, and you haven’t asked how I am once.”

“You were running in a field in a negligee!”

“You’re a sicko!”

Cue a complete and total meltdown….and a “to be continued.”

Real Housewives of New York will be back next Wednesday at 9 PM ET on Bravo.