Below Deck Mediterranean: Mila and the steaks in “Recipe for Disaster”

BELOW DECK MEDITERRANEAN -- Season:4 -- Pictured: Mila Kolomeitseva -- (Photo by: Bravo)
BELOW DECK MEDITERRANEAN -- Season:4 -- Pictured: Mila Kolomeitseva -- (Photo by: Bravo) /

Below Deck Mediterranean is back and chef Mila Kolomeitseva is, unfortunately, back in the kitchen.  In this episode, Mila attempts to bake.

After last week’s Below Deck episode where Chef Mila made cold nachos with canned corn, along with some hard shell tacos, it can only go up from there!

The guests seem okay with the microwaved steaks.  I wonder if they are watching this episode with us at home.

Captain Sandy Yawn helps out in the kitchen by slicing ham.  She says it reminds her of her childhood which, is probably not a good thing.

“It’s like being back in the meat shop.  Which I never liked.”

Chef Mila makes it through dinner okay, but then she has to make a cake.  Hannah tries some and says it tastes like baking soda.

Hannah brings some cake to Captain Sandy for sampling.

“Oh my god, it’s so bad. We’re in trouble.”

A birthday cake fiasco

Cue third stew, Anastasia Surmava baking a cake. As quick as she can.

No word on the frosting, it looks like Mila was using spray whipped cream to decorate it.  Once again though, the guests love it.  They seem to sense Mila didn’t make it because Hannah has Anastasia carry it to the guests.

Guest: “Does the chef also bake?”

Aesha: “Actually, Anastasia made it”

Back in the galley…

Chef Mila: “Anastasia, it was nice of you to let them know I didn’t make the cake.”

For how horrendous a chef she is, Mila is pretty defensive about everything food-related.

I’m concerned that Mila was just a plant from production to make things interesting, a la Raquel “Rocky” Dakota from an earlier season.

I’ve never seen a chef look so uneasy in the kitchen.  The way she held the cheese grater was…odd.

Even Chef Ben has some thoughts on Mila’s cooking.  I wonder where Ben is? Hmm?

Out they go

After the first group of guests is off the boat, the crew has a chance to go out.  In one car is Mila, Jack, Hannah and Travis.  Things go downhill quickly.

Chef Mila says that men kissing is not normal, to this Travis responds and says Mila is a “classic Russian homophobe.”

“I don’t want to see men kissing in front of me…I am very proud of Putin, he doesn’t let the parades in our country.”  Referring to pride parades or anything celebrating homosexuality.

Travis calls Mila an oxygen thief in response to her statement.

Mila is not long for this boat.  Rumors have it that an alternate chef is lingering around in the background, if it isn’t Anastasia.

Honestly, besides being a terrible chef, being a homophobic chef is probably the last straw for Sandy.  There is no room for such hate on a superyacht, or anywhere, for that matter.

Next week we will get to see the aftermath of Mila’s gross statement, and hopefully her last day on the boat.

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Below Deck Mediterranean is back next Monday at 9 PM ET on Bravo!