Real Housewives of New York City: Welcome to “Luann Land” recap

The Real Housewives of New York welcome you to “Luann Land,” where apologies are necessary from everyone besides Luann herself.

We start off in the same argument we ended with last week.  Luann de Lesseps is mad that Bethenny Frankel left her Halloween event to be with her daughter.  The Real Housewives of New York will formally be retitled as Countess Luann and Other People if she had her way.

There’s lots of blame being tossed Bethenny’s way from Luann for no reason.  Luann wants all of these ladies to rotate around her 24/7 giving her compliments are scheduling her home massages.  If you made her a fresh green juice, she wouldn’t turn it down.

Eventually, we sort of get to apologies.  Luann’s apology was, “I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you.”

Bethenny takes the apology but says, “it was like eating junk food. I feel full. I feel cheap and dirty.  It was a cheap apology.”

Ramona gets real

Ramona Singer has been on The Real Housewives of New York City since the beginning, but she manages to keep her past mostly off screen.  Tonight, they went to a restaurant that she had a dinner at after her mother’s funeral, they even sat at the same table.  Ramona mentions she grew up five minutes down the street.

After a few drinks, Ramona shares some information about her childhood we have really never heard before.  She tells about how abusive her father was toward her mother, and Bethenny tells us her father was also abusive.  When Ramona’s father died, he left his inheritance to her brother and sister, but left nothing to her.

Ramona says the will read, “and to my daughter, Ramona Mazur Singer, I bequeath nothing.”

This inspires Bethenny to share similar stories about her childhood.  At some point, they come to a realization that they have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.  We love a real, real housewives moment.

When the other Real Housewives of New York ladies arrive, Luann is pretty crass about the moment they are having.  If it’s not about Luann, change the subject to something more relevant to the Countess – PUH-LEEZE!

Margarita the cabaret star from Cuba

Margarita has probably never heard of The Countess Luann de Lesseps, but she seems happy enough to have them there.  She does a lovely rendition of “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” and according to Tinsley, it’s the best version she has ever heard.

Whether Luann wants to admit it or not, Margarita is her future. Sonja says this visit is Luann preparing for down the road.  Dark thoughts.

The morning after

Bethenny is hungover, Dorinda is mocking Luann, and Tinsley looks like she just got out of the salon.  Bethenny quips, “she looks like she is about to teach an etiquette class.”

The ladies all go to Luann Land for brunch before departing back to the city.  They decide to all fight about past happenings instead.  Typical.

As of this morning, Luann was ordered back to jail for violating her probation.  The season isn’t over yet, and we still haven’t made it to the cast trip yet.  Dun dun dun.

Real Housewives of New York will be back next Wednesday at 9 PM ET on Bravo.