The Real Housewives of Potomac: “Hot Mike,” not so much

The Real Housewives of Potomac episode, “Hot Mike,” was pretty anti-climatic.  I feel like I led you all on with my promises of drama.

This Real Housewives of Potomac episode seemed like it was going to be full of arguments, sneaky statements, and debauchery, but it was not.  We didn’t even see the dramatic wedding scene they teased in the previews.

Bravo did one of their famous rewinds before all the actual “drama” started.

One week earlier…

Ashley Darby and Michael Darby have Ashley’s mom over to their house, where they share a hug and some non-tap water.  Then they fry some shrimp.

Candiace Dillard Bassett and her husband, Chris, start unpacking their wedding gifts.  Candiace claims the magic bullet and tells Chris he can have their old one.  “What happened to ‘me’ is ‘us’?” Apparently, that does not apply to magic bullets.

Gizelle Bryant meets Katie Rost out for a reconciliation lunch.  Honestly, Katie has had a rough time since we last saw her.  She took to her instagram to clear some things up ahead of last night:

In other news

Robyn Dixon and Juan go to visit their fixer-upper property which required a larger amount of fixer-upper-ing than they initially thought.   She tells Juan that they have gone over their budget by $10,000 already, which probably means a least $15,000 over budget.

Candiace goes to visit an abandoned storefront to meet Ashley for lunch. Just kidding, she goes to Ashley’s Australian restaurant, Oz.   Oz describes itself as “the DC area’s first and only authentic Australian restaurant.”  Sweet.

Gizelle gets invited into Karen Huger’s “palatial mansion,” where she sages her upon entering.  This apparently clears the negative energy from a person.  The rest of the chat is uneventful.

Uncle Lump’s birthday party

The theme of this Real Housewives of Potomac party is 90’s music, so naturally Michael Darby wore a button-down flag shirt, with overalls (only one side buttoned) and a backwards baseball hat.  “Crocodile Dundee over here trying to be the fresh prince of Bell Air,” says Gizelle.  Feast your eyes on the outfit below.

Michael has a bunch of strange comments throughout the night, which I will document here.  Most of these comments were picked up by his mic, but are off screen.  Production gave us subtitles for the conversation so these are mostly verified by that.

Michael: “Where are the men? Where’s my man Juan?”

…

Michael: “Look at you. What have you been doing, working?”

Unidentified dude: “Just a little bit” (laughs)

Michael: “Yeah you look like you’ve been working out.”

Unidentified dude: “Yeah I work out about five times a week”

Michael: “That’s hard as a rock!’ Michael says as he feels the strangers stomach (I’m assuming).

Michael: “I know I’m good looking but you’re a good looking man too, brother”

Then, Ashley made us listen to her original song for Michael.  The Real Housewives of Potomac ladies love an original song.

Robyn shows some of her personal cell phone footage from the party.  The Real Housewives of Potomac cast stayed even after the cameras left, so it seems we are only going to get secondhand statements on the rest of the night.

We then see Michael talking to a producer saying that he was glad his mic didn’t work as he “might have said some things he regrets.”

Cue the dramatic music

Then the episode ends.  I thought we were going to see more of Michael being weird, but The Real Housewives of Potomac episode ends abruptly.  I’d like to say we get more of the story next week, but I’m not so sure.

The Real Housewives of Potomac in on Sundays at 8 PM ET on Bravo.  Maybe there will be more Michael Darby drama next week? Maybe not? a