The Real Housewives of New York: A Shallow Halloween, A Shalloween recap

The Real Housewives of New York City celebrated Shalloween on this week’s episode.  What in the name of Ageless by Ramona skincare was that?

Halloween is a great night for parties, performances, people in costumes, weird scary snacks, and apparently to show up to your own party 4 hours late.  Apparently, It is also the perfect time for a Real Housewives of New York charity event where the hosts argue in front of everyone.  And forget the guest of honor’s name.

In case you missed it, it appears Luann de Lesseps has been drinking at her Cabaret performances while on probation.  We’re not sure if that is what led to this extraordinarily delayed performance or what, but it would explain…some of it.

This Shalloween party had the theme of…Hospital? Insane asylum? Unsure, really, but either one fits the recent behavior of some of these RHONY ladies.

The ladies look lovely and frightening all at once.  Bethenny Frankel goes as an angel, Barbara as Slash, I think Dorinda was the Joker, or Marilyn Manson.  Tinsley Mortimer was a sexy nurse.  Ramona skipped the party and went to Omar’s. Luann was an extremely late nurse.  She comes down past 11 PM on this fine Halloween “Tuesday,” and performs TWO SONGS. Two whole songs.

Also, Halloween was on a Wednesday this year. There must be some conspiracy to convince us a viewers this was actually a Tuesday.

If anyone knows where to get some of those coasters with Luann and Tinsley’s mugshots, feel free to tweet a girl a link.

Dorinda leaves her cares behind

On a lighter note, Dorinda Medley is officially moving out of her apartment and into a fresh, new place.  She explains that her and her daughter, Hannah, moved back into the home after her husband passed away.

The home held a lot of good times, but she felt it represented a sad time in her life that she wanted to leave behind.  Bravo showed us a bit of her new place and it looks like just like the kind of upgrade she needed.  Now we just need a “new beginnings” party for no reason.

Ramona’s charity event

Post-Shalloween, Ramona Singer helps host a charity event for survivors of child sexual abuse.  This topic is incredibly unfunny and tragic, but the Real Housewives of New York ladies have a hard time with that during a lunch planning session.

Sonja decides that saying, “I do children, you do sexual abuse,” properly explains their charity work.  Ramona calls herself an “influencer.” Even Andy Cohen himself can’t believe what happened next.

At the end of the event, Ramona stands up to give a speech with Sonja Morgan, Dorinda Medley and the CEO and founder of NY Loves Kids, Bridie Farrell.  What happens next makes no sense, even after pondering it for a day or two.

Dorinda interrupts Ramona, Ramona interrupts Bridie, Sonja laughs and tells Ramona not to laugh while giving the speech.  Dorinda tells Ramona to tell “the most important part,” then she shouts “it was a friend of the family” six times, and finally, Sonja says “let’s hear it from the whores mouth. The horses mouth.”

Bridie can’t get three words in before Dorinda starts saying “important” a few times.  The finale is Dorinda saying “don’t you ever do that to me again” while poor Bridie is just trying to finish a sentence. There is no resolution to this nonsense.

They say “there’s no such thing as bad publicity,” but the author of that quote might change their mind on that if they watch this episode of RHONY.  I hope they raised a lot  of money to make up for the debacle.

Real Housewives of New York is on at 9 PM ET every Wednesday on Bravo.  What did you guys think about this episode?  Did you cringe?  Did you enjoy the Countess’ Creepy Cabaret? Let us know in the comments.