Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Pass the Peach

Shamari opens up about her marriage, and the shade gets real when the Housewives play “Pass the Peach” at Cynthia’s Bailey-Q.

Kandi and Todd are at Dr. Jackie’s office to discuss their options for having another baby. They have a couple of frozen embryos and are considering surrogacy since Kandi has some medical issues that make it risky for her to carry another child. I hope it works out for Kandi and Todd, but Bravo has shown us enough egg-freezing/IVF/surrogate storylines. We don’t need any more of them.

Eva meets her fiancé, Mike, at a cigar bar. How very late 90’s. They discuss their upcoming wedding, the plans for which she is leaving up to her mother and her wedding planner. Her input to the wedding planner was that she wants the food to be “cute”—whatever that means—no plus-ones, no kids, and “super” security. How famous is Eva? As famous as she thinks she is?

Dennis is introducing Porsha to his mother for the first time. He tells her he hasn’t introduced any women to her for seven years and I’m wondering if this another of Dennis’ lines. Mama Gina shows up looking like she knows what’s up. She seems underwhelmed by Porsha’s gift of a Louis Vuitton wallet, probably because she suspects its sole purpose is to butter her up.

Mama Gina immediately starts quizzing Porsha and Dennis about their relationship, becoming more skeptical by the minute. I have a feeling Mama Gina knows how her son operates and views Porsha as the latest flavor of the month. She asks if they’re in love and gives them the side-eye when they reply that they are. The side-eye stays in place throughout the dinner as she sizes up Porsha and continues to interrogate them. Are they heading to the altar? Poor, dingbat Porsha asks if she means the marriage altar. Is there any other kind in the context of this conversation? I don’t think Mama Gina was asking if they’re planning to worship at Satan’s altar.

Have they discussed a pre-nup? No, but Porsha thinks both she and Dennis are “for” one, which should have scored her some points. Mama Gina seems pretty tough; Dennis is squirming the whole time, perhaps wondering if she’ll expose his game to Porsha. And even poor, dim-witted Porsha senses that this “date” hasn’t convinced Mama Gina the relationship is legit.

Cynthia is at her lake house Facetiming with her long-distance boyfriend, Michael. She gushes about how into each other they are, and tells him about the “Bailey-Q” she is hosting at her house. I’m happy Cynthia has found love, but I don’t want to be privy to her and Michael’s sexy time or double entendres about how juicy his burgers are. Eww.

Shamari and her mother-in-law are tasting cakes for Shamari’s twins’ birthday party. Of course she wants a royal theme, so I suppose her kids’ birthday party will be just as ridiculously over-the-top as Phaedra’s kids’ were. It’s laughable how self-important these women can be.

For some reason Ma Devoe and Shamari are talking about the ups and downs in their relationship, and Shamari divulges that Ma Devoe thought she was a gold digger at first. What a strange conversation to have at a cake-tasting for a kid’s party. Haven’t Shamari and Ronnie been together for 17 years? How did this even come up? And what’s the point of talking about whether Ma DeVoe trusted Shamari’s motives all those years ago when they both acknowledge their relationship is good now?

Ma Devoe refers to Ronnie’s past indiscretions and Shamari informs her they had an open marriage at one point. TMI, Shamari. Ma Devoe literally shudders and warns that if she opens the door, the Devil will walk through it. Shamari assures her that door is closed, and she and Ronnie are no longer having a menage-a-trois with the Devil. I assumed Ronnie was the one who wanted the open marriage because—men. But Shamari tells us she was the one who initiated it because she was bi-curious. What a refreshing twist!

Over at Lake Bailey, Cynthia is preparing for her Bailey-Q. The stunningly original theme she has chosen for this Fourth of July get together is red, white and blue. She’s told everyone to bring a plus-one (unlike Eva’s wedding) and a homemade dish. Just as Cynthia wonders how these ladies will interpret the term “homemade,” a truck stocked with all the delicacies from Dennis’ hot dog empire arrives. Poor Porsha doesn’t have a very extensive vocabulary.

Nene and Marlo arrive first. Marlo presents Cynthia with a red, white and blue-bedazzled fishing pole. As ridiculous as I think Marlo is, I must admit it’s a cute gift. They all settle down for a little gossip sesh before the other ladies get there. Eva has asked Nene to give a toast at her wedding, since Eva considers Nene the older sister she never had. Cynthia is surprised Nene and Eva are that close while Marlo sniffs that without Nene, Eva’s wedding would probably be a snooze fest.

No one is really sure who Eva is. Nene says she’s different one-on-one than she is with the entire group. Cynthia heard Eva started a rumor that Cynthia had to pay a guy to date her. Cynthia laughs at the idea of stooping to such tactics, which is not surprising. I mean, look at her. Nene knows it can’t be true because Cynthia is too cheap. Wow. Nene just stuck up for Cynthia by totally shading her. Nene is a master.

Kandi and her friend Carmon arrive, followed by Shamari. Did I say Shamari looked good last week? I spoke too soon. She is wearing a terrible orange wig and the worst early 90’s corner ho outfit since the corner ho wore it in the early 90’s. This girl needs a stylist ASAP.

Oh, look! There’s another new Housewife. Her name is Tanya and she shops at Nene’s boutique. Nene says she’s a baller (she must be, because even though she arrived in the ugliest car ever, it was a Rolls Royce), she’s into fashion and she’s an IT geek. She and Nene hit it off because they have so much in common, including the same birthday. Marlo gives her the once over and asks if she’s wearing Valentino. Oh, Marlo—stay shallow. Nene, along with the rest of the world, laughs in Marlo’s face when Marlo tries to say she’s not all about labels.

On the way to Cynthia’s Porsha tells Shamea that Eva was talking about her at Shamari’s show. Since Shamea is one of her best friends, Porsha feels obligated to let her know about it. She doesn’t want to rile Shamea up because she hopes she and Eva can resolve whatever tension lingers between them. I’m sure that will work out really well.

Especially since now that everyone has arrived, it’s time to play “Pass the Peach.” Pass the Peach is a game Cynthia made up. Its sole purpose is to stir up s*** and here’s how it works. Whoever has the peach picks a question out of a bowl. She can either answer the question or pass the peach to whomever she thinks the question is about. Either option is guaranteed to cause drama. It’s genius—let’s play.

Nene draws the first question, which is “Who needs a makeover?” She doesn’t want to answer so she hands the peach off to Porsha, who tosses it to Eva. I don’t think Porsha understood the rules. Eva did, and hands the peach to Shamari, who the question was clearly about since she is in desperate need of a makeover. Kandi and Shamari are both wearing red and white, but Eva deems Kandi’s look very international and Shamari’s very Southern. Of the two, Kandi is definitely the more stylish while Shamari is just “snatched.”

Marlo gets the next question which is, “Who is the biggest liar in the group?” Marlo has never been one to shy away from shit-stirring and promptly answers that Porsha was the biggest liar in the past and Eva will be the biggest liar in the future.

Eva responds by calling Marlo extra. I don’t really know what that means, but if it means what I think it means, Eva is right. Marlo says Eva is basic (which is the opposite of what I think extra means), and Eva yells if being “on top” since she was a teenager is basic, so be it. Kandi cuts in to give the liar peach to Eva since she just fixed Shamea a plate of food after shading her the other night. Eva says she was simply asking Porsha who she was bringing to the Bailey-Q, which is not at all what she was doing.

Cynthia asks Eva about spreading the rumor that she paid someone to date her. Eva tries to deny it, but her protestations are a little too shifty to be believed. Nene thinks Eva is being messy, and I’m predicting someone else will be giving that toast at Eva’s wedding.

Shamea picks the next question, which asks who she thinks has shaded her recently. Obviously that peach goes to Eva. When Cynthia asks who has been in an open relationship, there is a pause until Shamari jumps off the couch with her hands in the air. Marlo isn’t the only extra one in the room.

Nene asks what an open relationship entails (really, Nene? You don’t know?), and Shamari explains how it worked for her and Ronnie. There were no rules as long as Shamari only slept with women. Which means there were rules. Porsha thinks it’s cool Shamari is open-minded about relationships but wonders why she’s so closed-minded when it comes to stylists. Porsha made a funny!

It’s amazing that with all the dirt “Pass the Peach” stirred up, these ladies end the episode laughing with each other instead of in a knock-down, drag out brawl. Too bad, but there’s always next week.