Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: A New Addition

Kandi and Porsha are getting along at the moment, but how long until Porsha finds out that Kandi has the dirt on Dennis and is dishing it?

The first thing I have to say about this show is that I love Eva. I loved her on America’s Next Top Model and I love her as a Housewife. She and Porsha are at the gym so Eva can lose the baby weight and Porsha can lose the hot dog weight. Eva kicks things off immediately by throwing shade Cynthia’s way. Eva’s a model, so she needs to reduce her baby booty so she can continue to work. She observes that you don’t see any models out there with big booties…except for Cynthia.

Porsha thinks it’s cute that Cynthia and Eva are in a model competition, and even though they got along in Miami, Eva continues to shade Cynthia’s age and outdated ways. I kind of hope these two can bury the hatchet because I’ve liked Cynthia ever since she behaved so graciously as a charter guest on Below Deck. But I also kind of hope they don’t, because as I’ve pointed out before, Housewives kumbaya-ing with each other does not make for good TV.

Another reason to love Eva is that she sees Marlo for the high-maintenance, entitled poseur she is. Eva enjoys the finer things these days, but she is from the Hood and doesn’t forget it. Marlo, however, swans about as if she was to the manor born. Please. We all see you Marlo—draping yourself in designer labels so you can prove to everyone how fancy you are doesn’t disguise your slippery backstory or your humble beginnings. There is nothing wrong with humble beginnings—look at Eva—but there is something wrong with pretending to be something you’re not.

Nene and Gregg are at a hospital in Houston getting a progress report on Gregg’s cancer. They are hoping he has less grueling treatment options than chemotherapy. Nene describes Gregg’s frustration and emotional fragility and hopes she can be his rock through this, as he has been her rock for so many years. Nene is so often unbearably obnoxious and over-the-top, it’s nice to see the calm and supportive side of her.

Gregg’s CT scan shows no evidence of cancer (hooray!), but the doctor recommends chemotherapy as the best option to reduce the chances of it returning. Gregg is upset when the doctor tells him alternative treatments haven’t been effective with his type of cancer, but he is going to fight it, even if it means having to undergo chemo.

It’s time to meet the new addition referred to in this episode’s title. Her name is Shamari and she is a friend of Kandi’s. Pretty much any friend of Kandi’s is a friend of mine. Shamari is married to Ronnie Devoe of New Edition and Bell Biv Devoe, and was in the 90’s girl group Blaque, for whom Kandi wrote a hit single. Kandi is legit, people. Here is the difference between Kandi and Marlo. Kandi is the real deal and has had huge success, yet she is humble and level-headed. No one is sure what Marlo does or has done for a living, but she is an overbearing, imperious diva.

Shamari is recording a song with her husband and hoping their musical partnership will blow up Beyonce/Jay-Z style. Their song sounds pretty good, but not quite Beyonce/Jay-Z good. At least not yet. Shamari tells us not to believe the myth about putting out on the first date, because she did, and here she and Ronnie are, seventeen years later. I don’t know how old Shamari was when she met Ronnie, but whatever age she is now, she looks GOOD.

Cynthia arrives at Nene’s house, and we learn Gregg has decided against chemo after all. He is opting for a more holistic approach and determined to be a survivor. Cynthia recognizes that it is his life and his body, and she will support whatever decisions he makes. Nene is skeptical of some of the new age mumbo jumbo touted by the holistic crowd, but she has seen too many people taken down by chemo and is willing to give it a try.

Kandi is calling everyone to invite them to Shamari’s show at ATL live. Normally these obligatory scenes bore me to tears, but interspersed into this one is the fact that Kandi has dirt on Porsha’s boyfriend, Dennis. Was it only last year that Kandi and Porsha were at each other’s throats over the Phaedra-fueled drug and rape scandal? They seem to be getting along just fine now, but I’m sure that will change once Kandi spills the dirt on Dennis. I, for one, can’t wait!

At Shamari’s show, it’s Cynthia’s turn to throw shade. I don’t know if Eva is right about Cynthia’s modeling moves being outdated, but I know Cynthia is right when she says Blaque’s entire look is straight out of the 90’s. Shamari comes to the table to “meet” the rest of the Housewives and say hello to her high school classmate Porsha. Nene is underwhelmed, and Kandi becomes irritated when Shamari’s husband critiques Kandi’s performance of the prior week. I think Kandi knows what she’s doing, and she points out that the husband’s group opened for hers, so maybe he should keep his critiques to himself.

Not only does Kandi know what she’s doing as an entertainer, her OLG restaurant is killing it to the point that she’s able to open another one. Kandi has the Midas touch. Her friend Carmon shows up and we learn she left her job as Kandi’s assistant and member of the Kandi-coated clique to become…an insurance agent? Seems like a pretty mundane transition, albeit a profitable one, because now she handles the insurance for Kandi’s many properties.

The real reason Carmon—and Kandi’s other friend Jami—are there is to dish the dirt on Porsha’s boyfriend. While Porsha is at her mother’s house gushing about her relationship (and displaying unsightly boob sweat as she convulses over her newfound love), over at the new OLG location we are learning that hot dog salesman Dennis is a bit of a dog himself.

This editing is genius. While Porsha is crowing over the Rolex watch he gave her and telling her mother he’s certain to stick around since he is planning to get a tattoo of her face, Jami is telling Kandi and Carmon that Dennis’ MO is to buy women Rolexes and get tattoos of their faces. As Portia raves about his cooking ability, Jami says Dennis doesn’t cook at all, but has a stable of women willing to grocery shop for him and prepare his romantic meals. Evidently what looked like #relationshipgoals last episode is nothing more than Dennis’ tried-and-true dating shtick.

Sigh. I would say that because poor Porsha is so stupid, any guy could pull the wool over her eyes–but it looks like Porsha is just the latest of many women to fall for Dennis’ deft manipulations.