The dogs are the true stars of Real Housewives of Dallas season 2

Episode 1 of Real Housewives of Dallas season 2 aired on Monday, and the number one reason to watch this show is the dogs.

Well, that was something. Apparently, the season 2 debut was a step up from season 1, but no one’s pretending it’s the same the level of entertainment we get on the other Real Housewives shows. There’s still time for the ladies’ interpersonal drama to ramp up for quality TV, but in the meantime, the producers of Real Housewives of Dallas have identified an excellent collection of guest stars: the ladies’ dogs.

There are so many dogs of RHOD and they are all so lovely. So that’s what we’re here to recap. Exclusively the going-ons of the Real Dogs of Dallas.

The first image of the season — after the obligatory Dallas aerials and Exterior of a Big House — is of Cary Deuber’s dogs, Lily, Daisy and Izzy. She’s telling them their friends are coming over, the door bell rings, and they are very excited. Stephanie Hollman is at the door with her new dog, Biscuit, a Labradoodle (?). Biscuit loves Cary immediately and Biscuit receives his own chyron — an honor Andy Cohen previously reserved for beagles.

Congratulations to Biscuit.

Biscuit, Stephanie explains, is naughty. He likes to run around the house with Stephanie’s panties in his mouth (her words). She then dead-stares the camera and says: “Kind of like Travis.” Gross.

Then Kameron Westcott — who Cary explains is “wealthy” in a big way — arrives. She’s new to Real Housewives of Dallas. Also making his RHOD entrance: Her Yorkshire terrier, Louis Vuitton Westcott. Biscuit, naughty dog that he is, takes this moment to make a break for freedom and we’re treated to Cary and Stephanie, herding (?) him back in.

The ladies then talk about being blonde, party planning, past drama, police reports, other actual RH plot points, etc.

A lot more stuff happens. We get fully introduced to Kameron and her husband Court, their wealth, their neighborhood, their kids, her deep love of pink. Louis Vuitton is conspicuously absent during this segment, as is a French bulldog named Chunk the family apparently has.

LeeAnne Locken and D’Andra Simmons (also new, also “legacy” money) double date. D’Andra explains her mommy issues. There are no dogs.

LeeAnne goes to therapy. Stephanie makes dinner and catches us up on her life. Her marriage is good. Then Brandi Redmond and her husband Bryan get some screen time to talk about their marriage, but mostly Brandi talks about her friendship break-up with Stephanie.

Finally, 30 minutes in, we check back in on the dogs. We’re at a pet boutique with Kameron and D’Andra. Kameron is researching dog food to start her own line of pink dog food. Louis Vuitton is there and, finally, we get the intro to Louis we deserve, complete with throwback photos.

We learn Louis is Kameron’s “very first child” and they’ve been together since before she was married. Back in her single days, Kameron would promise Louis she would find him a father.

In the present, Louis sniffs and sniffs various flavors of dog food and we learn Louis is very picky. (The shop assistant does not appear amused.) Kameron offers Louis icing, which he declines, and then Kameron eats something (???) with icing on it. She declares it better than her protein bar, but Bravo cuts from the scene without confirming whether she did or did not just eat dog food.

Elsewhere, Cary and, this time, LeeAnne are also convening with their dogs. Cary brings Izzy, the border collie, and LeeAnne brings a new (?) dog, Bubba. (LeeAnne also has two other dogs: Chief and Carly. It’s possible this dog is actually Chief — LeeAnne’s dog does not receive a chyron.) Bubba and Izzy’s owner talk about Stephanie and Brandi and getting involved / not getting involved.

Lots more drama happens in the episode, in cars, at a party, but that’s it for the dogs. It was promising, but really the sky is the limit for dog content on this show.

Next: Behold, the Real Housewives of Dallas season 2 taglines

After focusing mostly on the Dallas charity scene (?) in the first season, season 2 appears to be taking the more classic Real Housewives strategy of amping up interpersonal angst. But really, we’re just here for the dogs. More dogs, please.